Tag Archives: Jersey Shore

Confessions of a Jersey Shore fan – Outing myself to Jersey Shore locals (and still feeling a little dirty afterwards)

3 Feb

Ok, I have a confession to make.  And it’s been a long time coming, but…

I am a fan of MTV’s Jersey Shore. And I SHOULDN’T be.  But I am.  There, I said it.

Cannot freakin’ wait to see what antics those lovable train-wrecks are going to get into tonight. (I think tonight’s episode focuses on Ron-Ron is getting an anal probe!)

Thanks to the casties of MTV’s Jersey Shore I have learned:

  • New euphemisms for referencing intimate relations and female body parts.
  • How to be a good wingman.  Grenade Whistles for all!
  • That the cast is a walking PSA for safe sex/abstinence.  Seriously, kids…this show should make you want to RUN to your parents and slap on that ol’ purity ring.  Yeah, that’s right Selena Gomez…I’m talking to you…take it easy and slow with the Bieb-ster.
  • That Snooki and Deena’s definition and personification of “being classy” makes the porn star who recently went on an all-night cocaine bender with Charlie Sheen look like Mother Teresa.
  • Kitchen Ditchin’…nuff, said.

I know I am not alone. Eight million viewers tuned in last week, giving MTV’s its highest ratings for a primetime show EVER.  The Snooki-fication of the country has become an interesting “Situation.”   (Did you know that Chuck Schumer saw Snooki at Reagan National, waved, said hello…AND SHE DIDN”T KNOW WHO HE WAS AND IGNORED HIM???)

So as you can imagine… I now have to use discretion when the inevitable subject of where I live is broached. And the enormous pop-culture relevancy that Jersey Shore has become has spawned trickle-down fall-out effects on the locals who actually call the Jersey Shore home.  Here are various scenarios that I have encountered in the last few months since the show’s debut.

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New Music Tuesday – Nicole Atkins, “Vultures”

25 Jan

From the lovely Jersey Shore-native, Nicole Atkins.  Her new album, “Mondo Amore”, drops February 8th.

Enjoy!

Blizzards & Blogging…making the best of a snowy situation and avoiding cabin fever

29 Dec

Wow, has it really been over two weeks since my last post???  Sorry, kids…between finishing up my grad project (got an “A”, thank you), holiday craziness, etc. , the time there seemed like it was slip-sliding away for a bit.

Until now, that is.

Winter Wonderland, my ass.

The Blizzard of 2010 (the post-Christmas Nor’easter which dumped over 30″ of snow on the Jersey Shore) has caused most New Jersey residents to take an extended pause.  Three days after the Boxing Day Blizzard (cute, huh?), it’s still terrible out there.  Major NJ highways are still closed due to abandoned cars that hindered snow plowing efforts.  Many residential streets are also not plowed, and some residents are still affected by power outages.   Grocery stores and gas stations are also affected due to delivery trucks being unable to make the daily rounds.

I am thankful to say that my family and I are not among those poor souls without power or food.  (That would be bad.)  Over the past three days, we have shoveled out half of our long driveway – enough for a one car-width path to back out to the street.  With my OCD personality, I calculated that we moved about a ton of snow…maybe more (think about a 10-lb scoop of snow and multiply that by 200 scoops…trust me, I was keeping track.)  And, I probably burned as many calories as a one-hour spin class!

It hasn’t been that bad, a minor inconvenience in the grand scheme of things.  (Except if I see one more Eyewitness News people-on-the-street interview of oblivious Upper West Siders who think the snow is “marvelous, we took baby Sophie for her first sleigh ride in Central Park..isn’t that a novelty har har”, I may puke.

My Mink Coat and Ski Mask shoveling ensemble. The Michelob hat adds a nice touch. Too much?

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Because Neil Diamond and the Chanukah Song go together like peas and carrots…

3 Dec

That is supposed to be David Lee Roth, FYI

It’s not like there are a ton of Hanukkah songs out there to choose from. Besides “Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel”, I can’t think of many others, until Adam Sandler came along with not one, but THREE versions of the Chanukah Song (Hanukkah).

Neil Diamond (affectionately dubbed as The Jewish Elvis) shares his cover of the now-iconic Sandler tune (can we say “iconic” yet? too early???) from his album, A Very Cherry Christmas (still not enough Hanukkah hits to merit its own album).

p.s. Adam Sandler, you should come up with the 2010 version of the song STAT. I’ll even feed you a couple of new lyrics…any more and I want royalties.

“Guess who this year won’t be lighting the menorah…Drunk ass Snooki and the guidos of Jersey Shore-ah!”

“So many latkes to make us all fat…who knows how many calories…there should be an app for that!”

This Thanksgiving, pay it forward with a Delicious Orchards pie…or a flock of geese…or a camel.

20 Nov

I’m still in a warm and fuzzy half-life mood since my outing to Ichiban on Wednesday (see my previous post about our amazing pre-Thanksgiving maki miracle).  Simple human kindness can really stem from any number of ways.    This week I’ve been paying a little more attention….holding doors for people…actually remembering to send birthday cards (I’m really terrible at this…and usually realize until it’s way to late to even send a belated birthday card)…surprising a random someone with a coffee treat at Starbucks Coffee during the Starbucks Buy One Get One coffee event (ends tomorrow 11/21).

I wouldn’t say that I’ve had a total holiday epiphany (I won’t be serving Who-Hash to little Cindy Hoo-Hoo in Who-ville while wearing a Santa hat anytime soon…I’ve always been a little “Grinch-y” about the holidays).  But I have remembered that there is kindness in the world, and I’m trying to keep that cycle going a little bit.  And the holiday season seems so apropos for this sentiment.

I am still inspired to “pay it forward”.     If you are inclined to do the same, I have a couple good suggestions.

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This is how we (maki) roll…AKA “It’s a freakin’ miracle on Highway 35” (a pre-holiday story)

17 Nov

Ichiban Sushi Maki Roll

Sorry, readers,  the Delicious Orchards post is going to have to wait till tomorrow.  Tonight, I witnessed such a touching Pay It Forward human moment that preempts an (anticipated) post about apple cider yeast donuts and the East Coast’s most amazing pumpkin pie.   Clap your hands if you believe in fairies, kids.

(LONG POST, BTW)

Every year, my best friend, Heather, celebrates her birthday with her mom, a couple close friends and me.  It’s a tradition that’s over 20 years strong.  The cast of characters changes each year…a crazy grandmother, crazy grandmother’s drunk boyfriend , crazy aunt…you get the idea.   But one thing has always remained constant.  We celebrate at a hibachi restaurant.

Tonight, we celebrated at Ichiban, a sushi/hibachi restaurant that now occupies a former McDonald’s restaurant on Highway 35 South in Oakhurst, NJ.  They kept the Mickey D’s sloped roof, and you can tell that the parking lot was designed for drive-thru runs.   But I have to say, the owners have done a very impressive transformation.  Very chic interior, sexy lighting, great bar…Ichiban strives to serve its patrons a different kind of Happy Meal.  And their Happy Ending usually involves a tempura ice cream sundae.

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We don’t stink as much as you think we do – JerseyDoesntStink.com

15 Nov

The grassroots campaign that is standing up to uphold New Jersey‘s good name – JerseyDoesntStink.com

I have to thank my one of my besties, Maureen, for giving me the inspiration for today’s post. 

She and her awesome hubby, Barry, were driving back towards their home in Brooklyn this past Sunday, after an enjoyable day of suburban shopping in the Garden State.  (Tax-free clothing purchases in NJ, y’all…TAKE THAT, HATERS!)  She noticed JerseyDoesntStink.com billboards dotting the NJ Turnpike somewhere around Newark Airport/Port Elizabeth  (Which really, JerseyDoesntStink.com people, was a sh***y place to put that billboard up.  Actually, it DOES stink there.  Didn’t you know that the city of Elizabeth is affectionately referred to as the “armpit of New Jersey”?)

I decided to check it out.  If a grassroots campaign devoted to praising NJ is taking out billboards on the Turnpike, they must have something to say. Continue reading

WTF?!? Angelina Pivarnick from Jersey Shore releases new rap single, “I’m Hot”

13 Nov

Ummm…there are really no words to describe this.   Angelina Pivarnick, the most-hated Snooki-fighting, gold-digging, obnoxious roommate from MTV’s hit show Jersey Shore, has decided to capitalize on her fleeting 15 minutes of fame by releasing this atrocious single…”I’m Hot”.

Disclaimer: Please let me clarify by saying that Angelina is NOT from New Jersey (sorry, Staten Island…you can have her)…and that her otherwise “talents”, do not embody the awesomeness that is the REAL Jersey Shore.   And apparently, even Angelina thinks the song is atrocious, as the New York Daily News indicates.

I’d say for Angelina to stick to her day job…but I’m not really sure what that day job is!

What do you think of Angelina’s new single?

Stuck in the 90’s with you…the Inkwell Coffee House

12 Nov

Inkwell

As a teenager back in the mid-1990’s (remember those days?), my friends and I always went to the Inkwell Coffee House in Long Branch, NJ. 

It was pretty gross…sticky floors, dirty tables, heavy cigarette smoke, and goth-wannabe servers with the appropriate touch of ennui and disdain.  However, the Inkwell was open till 4:00am, made an amazing drink called “Dutch Coffee” (coffee, vanilla, cinnamon and butter…it’s good, you just have to be there), and offered “freshly cut apple slices” as a menu item. 

I can still hear the strains of Nirvana Unplugged, Patty Smyth and the Cure piped in on the jukebox, while my friends and I (attired in berets and decked out in black nail polish) cadged cigarettes from the older patrons (the 18 year olds) and complained about how our parents were soooo out of touch.   It was the official meeting place for white, suburban teens and suburban teen angst.  God, I miss those days.

Driving past the Inkwell last week, I noticed a sign that advertised free Wi-Fi.  I’ve been working on a grad project for the past few weeks, and have been looking for a study place that was not in my house, where I am easily distracted by people, house projects and my Yorkie.  I decided to give the Inkwell another try.

The place has since gotten a new owner, and has had a minor re-do.  Going up the rickety stairs into the “foyer” I was greeted with a large poster of John Travolta and Samuel L. Jackson’s characters from 1990’s classic Pulp Fiction.  “This is promising”, I thought. 

The clientele still has that touch of dirty I remember…mostly kids from nearby Monmouth University these days.  The music is piped in from an alternative XM channel.  Non-smoking restaurant laws have since gone into effect.  The coffee house now serves chai.  I think the board of health actually gives the Inkwell as passing grade now. And the Inkwell now accept credit cards. 

I sort of felt like a fossil…a relic from a storied chapter in the coffee house’s history.  The college kids bitched about class, bitched about their lovers and roommates.  I zoned out and typed until midnight. 

But they still serve Dutch coffee and sliced apples.   And the service still sucks.  And for me, those are reasons that still make me want to go to the Inkwell.

The Inkwell Coffee House is located at 665 Second Ave., Long Branch, NJ 07740. 732-483-0444 http://inkwellcoffee.com/

Nicole Atkins – some of the best music you’ve never heard returns to NJ

11 Nov

Nicole Atkins

One of my favorite singer/songwriters is born and bred here on the Jersey Shore, and will be performing at the South Orange Performing Arts Center this Saturday, November 13.  And, no I’m not talking about Bruce (although I realize he would probably be the first one to come to mind).

I’m referencing Nicole Atkins, born in Neptune City, NJ and currently residing in Asbury Park.    She has a fantastic voice…deep, soulful and a little 1960’s retro.  Critics have dubbed her a singing style a cross between Roy Orbison and Jenny Lewis.

Atkins career gained momentum after Columbia Records scouted one of her many her open mic performances in NYC’s Lower East Side.  In 2006, she assembled a band, Nicole Atkins & The Sea, and released an EP, Bleeding Diamonds.  The following year, an LP, Neptune City was released, as well as a cover LP, “Nicole Atkins Digs Other People’s Songs”.  A new LP, “Mondo Amore” will be released in January 2011.

I’ve seen her twice; once in 2008 at the Algonquin Theater in Manasquan, NJ, and once in 2009 at Asbury Park’s legendary Stone Pony.  Both times, Nicole gave performances that were simultaneously electric, lively and grounded.

This weekend, she’ll be supporting Aimee Mann (another songwriter who I love) at the South Orange Performing Arts Center in South Orange, NJ.    I won’t be able to attend this time, but if you’re looking to hear some new talent, be sure to check it out!


 

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